Sunday waxing...

I’m waxing philosophical today.  Throwing some vague thoughts into the air.  It’s where I am today.  I hope after you read you will share your thoughts and we can have some interesting conversations…

In the last month I’ve been reading a lot of materials on community – what it means to be a community, how to form an authentic community, why community fails, etc.  The one common denominator seems to be the willingness of those inside the community to be open and true, and their willingness to be committed to each other.  No matter what your purpose is – spiritual, recreational, athletic, charity – if the people within the community are not committed to each other and committed to making the relationship work, the community will fail.  The goal of the community may succeed (raising money for a shelter, winning a sporting competition, etc), but the community itself is a failure.  I find that fascinating in some ways, and I’m sure we can all cite examples of it.

What’s your point, Nicole?  Well, we are at a very interesting place in history.  Times are a’ changing, but people are not.  One only has to look through the annals of history to see that we are making the same choices as a human race we have made for centuries, good and bad and in the middle.  I know we like to think of ourselves as more civilized, rational, and thoughtful people than our ancestors, but so did the ancient Romans and look what happened to them.  I don’t claim to be an expert on any particular area of life, except music perhaps, but I can speak with a fair amount of experiential authority on the Church.  I stress “experiential".  I don’t claim to know everything, but my lifetime of participation, study of, teaching about and being a part of the fabric of the institution makes me wonder if it is one of those communities that is bound to fail.  On the verge of failure, in fact.  Many, many, many books are being written on the subject, including one I am reading now – we can talk about that when I’m done with it.  It would seem that many of the mainline denominations are structured in such a way that their main goal is the survival of the institution, not the institution's ideals.  And the church is not alone in this – educational institutions are in a similar situation.  How many colleges and universities are still practicing the educational and altruistic ideals of their founders?  How many choices have they made over the years to keep the doors open that, in the long run, go against the mission of educating their students? 

The Church does this with alarming frequency, as do educational institutions, corporate America, the government…need I go on???  They create systems of governance and polity to protect “the integrity of the institution” while tying the hands of those doing the work inside it.  They create rules and regulations, such as how much each individual congregation should give to the larger parent organization, that are blatantly out of line with the teachings they profess to the world as being a pathway to greater spiritual oneness with their Creator as they understand that Presence to be.  And they do this in the name of the institution, which in truth has become their God.  And there lies the problem.

Once an institution becomes more important than the people inside it, the community as it was created and the purpose of that community has failed.  The original mission becomes hidden and the people inside fall prey to buying into the system to protect their livelihoods and futures, forgetting why there are there in the first place – to become one with each other.   Can anyone cite the reasons why The United States became a nation?  Are we still living into those ideals of freedom?  Do we even know why our churches exist?  If you examine their mission statements, do their ministries and programming live into that mission in ALL that they do?  What are the original purposes of our universities and colleges?  Do we see that purpose in the students?

In my life, it seems that the only community that has remained “true to its purpose” has been my community of friends and family.  This has not always been a smooth journey either, but I can honestly say that we know why we are together.  Because we love each other.  Don't always know why, but we do.  We know why sometimes we cannot stand each other and yet put up with it any way – because we’ve learned to forgive.  And that takes a lot of practice, but we are willing to do the work to make it happen.  For me, I believe that the successes of my “personal communities” come from the ideals we’ve learned in our shared faith, which includes learning how to be in community with those who are not in our community of faith.  I don’t believe in only being friends with people who believe the same things I do.  It’s a boring way to live, and you’ll never learn the truths of life if you only stick with the folks who know the same things you do.  What if you were all wrong?  We often are.

Where are you going with this, Nicole? Not quite sure, actually. A few days ago I wrote a Dr. Suessian poem on Facebook about leaving the Episcopal Church. Forever. Of course, the minute you say “forever” you realize that at some point in life you will have to eat those words, and they won’t be covered in chocolate when you do. But I am considering taking an extended sabbatical from the institutional church. This creates a myriad of issues because, duh, I’m an organist and that’s how I make my money. And in the end that’s where I my heart is and where I found a purpose. But I got issues, as they say on tv. I would love to say that I'm living for my art (!) but unfortunately for me, eating is one of my favorite activities, and art will buy me Ramen Noodles, not cassoulet wtih a nice bold red to accompany it. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. As an artist and a person of faith I’ve committed to living a life dedicated to the truth of my art and the truth of my faith, and baby, it just ain’t there. For me. I am not bashing or trying to ruin the fulfilling world many of you have created for yourselves. I am happy for the people who have found true community and can proclaim it from the mountaintops. Do your thing. But for me, and perhaps a bunch of you…maybe that truth is just dead. For now. And that, friends, is something worth wrestling with.

Let’s wrestle together – it’s much more fun.  Tell me what you’re thinking.