I love fall. There's just something different about the smell of the air, the light of the sun, and the sound of the breeze. The dense aroma of summer humidity gives way to the light coolness of that first hint of the approach of winter. The glorious, yellow rays of hot sun somehow turn more golden - less harsh and more velvet. The wind wafting through the trees reveals the crisp sound of leaves giving up their final bit of green to give way to brilliant red, orange and yellow. I can wax poetic all day about fall, baby.
As a child, fall always meant a new school year, new classes, new clothes, new books - New You. A chance to reinvent yourself, a chance to refocus and refashion your dreams of who you want to be. Our stomachs are full of butterflies and our hearts are full of hopes as we take those first steps to the bus stop or the first steps on that long walk to school. Our dreams are perfect and our happiness is untouchable. The world is ours.
As a child, fall always meant a new school year, new classes, new clothes, new books - New You. A chance to reinvent yourself, a chance to refocus and refashion your dreams of who you want to be. Our stomachs are full of butterflies and our hearts are full of hopes as we take those first steps to the bus stop or the first steps on that long walk to school. Our dreams are perfect and our happiness is untouchable. The world is ours.
But the rules of Playground Politics do not conform to such thoughts - in that reality, you are who your classmates ALLOW you to be. We've all experienced that truth in one way or another when we were just young chicks, I imagine. Breaking the mold of "geek" or "jock" or "nobody" is virtually impossible. You must conform to stay popular or risk the ridicule of being, well, you. Or so it seems when you are a child or young adult with no control over your circumstances.
We like to think that as adults that idea of the New You applies at the start of a new project, a new job, etc. But as the old Gershwin tune says, "it ain't necessarily so". You are who your coworkers/boss/family EXPECT you to be - are we not? We are expected to be strong and endure, so we endeavor to do so. We are expected to be smart and responsible, so we try our best to comply. We are expected to be loving and compassionate, so we slap on a smile and do our thing. And there are many times in our lives when we genuinely feel strong, smart, responsible, loving, compassionate, or whatever adjective best describes how people see us. It is a natural part of who we are, and we gladly live in to it. But there are also times when it's just too hard to be those things, but we feel we must try anyway for fear of losing ourselves, losing our lives to the schoolyard bullies who just won't leave us alone.
We like to think that as adults that idea of the New You applies at the start of a new project, a new job, etc. But as the old Gershwin tune says, "it ain't necessarily so". You are who your coworkers/boss/family EXPECT you to be - are we not? We are expected to be strong and endure, so we endeavor to do so. We are expected to be smart and responsible, so we try our best to comply. We are expected to be loving and compassionate, so we slap on a smile and do our thing. And there are many times in our lives when we genuinely feel strong, smart, responsible, loving, compassionate, or whatever adjective best describes how people see us. It is a natural part of who we are, and we gladly live in to it. But there are also times when it's just too hard to be those things, but we feel we must try anyway for fear of losing ourselves, losing our lives to the schoolyard bullies who just won't leave us alone.
But maybe that holding on to who we were - who we were expected to be - is holding us back from being the New You. Maybe it's time to "be the tree", as we used joke about the goofy meditative practices of the 80's - time to let the old leaves fall, as beautiful as they were, and brace ourselves for the onslought of winter cold so that we can emerge ready to sprout new growth in the spring. For there is always a spring in our future unless we choose to die in the winter frost. Yes, it is a choice. And when we don't have the strength to choose, we get help from the people who love us. Or the people we pay to help us - whatever works best for you.
It's time to shop for a new book bag - it's not too late. Let's look for some new folders in our favorite colors and throw away the same torn few that have been knocked around our locker for years. Let's find our courage and walk past the pack of bullies blocking our way - because in the end, they really don't have a plan to deal with the person who simply ignores them or takes them on. And if they come after us, we know our bff's will be standing by with a baseball bat, or something. Well, maybe that's just my dream...but we can hold our heads high and walk to the bus stop full of butterflies. And even if they've been temporarily trapped in someone's net, we can still fill our hearts with hope.
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